Shattered Dreams and Mending Hearts
by LostGetFound
Summary: An angsty Rose/Dimka three-shot. Dimitri has been spending more and more time with Tasha, and its got Rose a little down. Rose, of course, decides to fight back. She does something to get Dimitri's attention. You'll have to read to find out what she does.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't own it. Rose and Dimitri belong to Richelle Mead. Italics are flashbacks; first one's at the end of Vampire Academy and second one's in Frostbite. This is a story i found saved on my computer that i wrote a while ago, and i'm just now deciding to post and finish it. It's going to be three chapters.  
**

"Dimka." A high, feminine voice called from behind me. I clenched my teeth together in an effort not to let my frustration out. "Over here, Dimka." Judging by the sound of her voice, she was getting closer.

Dimitri looked over my shoulder and his face broke into a smile. I could easily learn to hate that woman. "Tasha." He greeted her happily. She took a seat in the crowded room, and Dimitri quickly made a beeline to sit next to her. I clenched my teeth together harder.

Looking around for some way to get out of the awkwardness sitting next to them was going to cause, I saw Adrian Ivashkov. I wasn't really in the mood to deal with Adrian, but my choice was to sit next to him or sit with the two lovebirds. I wanted to throw up just thinking of Dimitri and Tasha together, but for now I brushed it off.

I sat down in the seat beside Adrian who immediately caught onto my bad mood. "What's wrong, little Dhampir?" He asked. "Your aura is blacker than normal. And that is saying something." I didn't answer. I just glared at Dimitri's back. I knew my expression was seething, and I was thankful the only one to witness my jealousy at the moment was Adrian. "Oh," his voice ripe with understanding. "I get it now."

"No you don't." I turned my glare on Adrian. "No one does."

Adrian looked like he wanted to disagree, but a Moroi man stood up in front of the audience and began to speak. I didn't bother listening.

Dimitri claimed to care about me.

"_Was he right?"_

"_Who?"_

"_Victor... he said it couldn't have worked. The necklace." I started to drift off, lost in the blackness of my mind, but Dimitri prompted me back to consciousness._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_The spell. Victor said you had to want me… to care about me… for it to work." When he didn't say anything, I tried to grip is shirt, but my fingers were too weak. "Did you? Did you want me?" _

_His words came out thickly. "Yes, Roza. I did want you. I still do. I wish… we could be together."_

And then later when I was baiting him in the practice room;

"_You don't care about me. You're just stuck in your stupid mentor role."_

_He stared at me, uncharacteristically surprised. "I don't care about you?"_

"_No." I was being petty- very, very petty. And I knew the truth- that he did care and was more than just a mentor. I couldn't help myself, though. It just kept coming and coming. I jabbed his chest with my finger. "I'm another student to you. You just go on and with your stupid life lessons so that-"_

_The hand I'd hoped would touch my hair suddenly reached out and grabbed my pointing hand. He pinned it to the wall, and I was surprised to see a flare of some emotion in his eyes. It wasn't exactly anger… but it was frustration of another kind._

"_Don't tell me what I'm feeling," he growled._

Over and over, he told me that he cared about me. And over and over, he went and broke my heart. It may not seem like much, his anger over my jabs. But every time he pushed me away it hurt. It hurt like crazy. And now, to top off all of the other lies or half-truths or whatever they were, he was going to go with her. He was going to choose Tasha Ozera, Moroi extraordinaire, over me. I felt my eyes prick with tears that I quickly pushed away.

"Rose." A voice interrupted the pity-party I was having in my head. I looked up to see Adrian looking at me concernedly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I snapped. "I'm freaking fantastic."

I looked around and saw that the meeting was over. And I hadn't heard one word of it. I would have to take a trip in Lissa's head later to find out what it had been all about. But for now, I wanted to continue to sulk. I had good reason after all.

"You don't look okay." Adrian told me. At my glare, he added, "You look beautiful as always, but Rose that glare won't get me to say anything else. You still don't look okay."

"Really?" I asked sarcastically. "Whatever would give you that idea?" I didn't wait for an answer. Instead, I pushed my way past him and left the room.

Once I left the crowded room, I wandered aimlessly down random hallways. I didn't pay much attention to where I was going until I tripped over my own feet. I was glad no one else was around. I didn't need anyone to see me, a future guardian, stumble over my own feet. I looked around to see where my feet had carried me.

I felt my heart sink. I leaned heavily against the wall and sank down to the floor. Of course, my feet would take me in his direction. My feet had led me right to Dimitri's doorway. Sitting against the wall directly across from his room, I felt the tears come again. And this time I didn't stop them.

Sometimes you just need to cry. To let your feelings out. Usually, I was great at letting my feelings out. They came out in one long heated rant at just about anyone who ticked me off. It was different with Dimitri. Everything was different with Dimitri. Every time I was around him now, I felt like a child. An immature, selfish child. I knew that what Tasha offered Dimitri was a once in a lifetime thing, it was a much better offer than stolen kisses in a corner with a girl seven years younger than him. I just couldn't manage to let go. So I cried.

Finally, no more tears would come. I curled my legs in to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I heard a voice call my name. Then I was being lifted up off the ground and carried. Someone was murmuring gently in my ear. All the while, I was still half asleep. "Rose." The person carrying my murmured in my ear, "Come on, Rose."I didn't bother to answer. I only leaned my head against his chest.

Then next thing I knew, I heard a door slam. The sound of someone's footsteps grew closer and closer until they were right in front of me. "Good." A voice muttered quietly. "You didn't wake her."

"What is she doing here?" Another voice demanded nowhere near as quietly.

"Christian Ozera found her outside. Asleep. I couldn't carry her all the way to her dorm without being asked some very uncomfortable questions." The first voice replied. "And keep your voice down or you'll wake her up."

"Why does she look like she's been crying?" The second voice asked. I was awake enough to realize that from the higher pitch of this voice, it belonged to a woman. The first voice was lower and obviously male.

"I told you; he brought her here asleep. I have no idea why she's been crying." There was a slight hitch in the man's voice as he said this.

I turned over, trying to get the voices to go away. I just wanted to sleep, but they wouldn't let me. "Well next time, alert me. She shouldn't be in here anyway. It's against the rules." The woman's voice continued, fading slowly as if she left the room. I didn't hear the man's voice either, so my sleepy brain assumed that he left too.

"Roza, you can wake up now." So the man didn't leave. Wait a second, the only person who called me that was…

"Dimitri." I said sleepily. I tried to open my eyes, but they didn't want to open. They seemed stuck together. I rubbed at them and managed to get them open. I was greeted with the sight of my gorgeous, intimidating mentor sitting on the bed beside me.

"Roza." He repeated softly. "What happened?"

"Huh?" I asked. My brilliance amazes even me sometimes. I had no idea what he was talking about. All I could remember was being carried and waking up here. In a room that obviously was not mine on a really comfy bed.

Dimitri reached up to push some of my hair out my face and tuck it behind my ear. "You've been crying." He said in that same soft concerned tone.

I reached up to touch my cheeks and then looked down at my hands confirming the fact that my makeup had run. "I must look like crap." I wailed. Normally, this wouldn't bother me, but this was _Dimitri_ we were talking about. I climbed off of the bed and almost ran into the bathroom. Sure enough, I had raccoon eyes and my makeup was smeared with tear tracks.

I ran the water in the sink and began to scrub the gunk off. No wonder my eyes seemed like they were glued shut. I _had _been crying, I realized. And it all came rushing back. Dimitri was probably leaving. With Tasha. He didn't love me. I pushed these thoughts away and worked on fixing my face. When I was finally done removing the makeup, I looked in the mirror. I still looked bad. My eyes were puffy and red from where I had scrubbed the makeup off. You could still tell that I had been crying.

"Rose, are you okay?" Dimitri's voice came from behind me and I jumped. I didn't know he had followed me into the bathroom.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I said defensively. Dimitri was in his caring teacher mode. He wasn't going to let this go until we had an adult discussion and a profound Zen lesson.

"No. You're not." He said shortly. His tone brooked no discussion. He took my arm and led me back to the bed I had woken up in. We sat side by side. "If you tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help." He suggested his voice full of compassion. I didn't want his compassion. I didn't need it.

"You don't want to know what's wrong." I told him. I let out a humorless laugh. "Besides, you _already_ know."

"What is it, Roza?" He pushed. "You can tell me anything."

"Not without getting another Zen life lesson and a speech on control." I said bitterly. "You're always counseling me to hold back. Well, this time, I'm going to listen." I resolutely crossed my arms and stared him down.

I could tell with one glance that Dimitri was beginning to become frustrated. I told myself not to care. If he didn't care about me, I was determined not to care about him. His patient expression now held a hint of frustration. Typical Rose, he was probably thinking, so immature and juvenile. This strengthened my resolve not to embarrass myself by telling Dimitri that I was crying over him.

"Rose, this isn't a game. I'm serious; I want to know what's wrong. And don't pretend that everything's fine. You exhausted yourself crying, and then you fell asleep. Christian had to carry you in here. You're lucky he found you and not one of the Royals or one of the other guardians."

"Remind me to thank Sparky later." I replied glibly. Deciding to try and change the subject, I looked around his room. "How come you don't have a roommate?" I asked curiously. "I have to share with Lissa."

"Would you rather not share with her?" He asked, playing along.

"Of course not. I was just curious." I sighed. So much for small talk. I lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"You need to get back to your room." Dimitri said. I wondered why he wasn't pushing to find out what was bothering me anymore, but hey, that was fine with me. "You're not allowed here anyway. You're mom came in here earlier and saw you."

I vaguely recalled hearing her voice while I was half asleep. "Mmm." I tried to make an interested noise, but I think it was more distracted. "How'd you enjoy that?"

"Rose, she's not a bad person." He told me. Dimitri was all for reconciliation. More of the Zen crap he was always talking about.

"Really, so you enjoyed your little visit?" His expression confirmed my suspicions. "That's what I thought."

"Come on, Rose." He stood up and held out his hand. I grasped it with my own and he pulled me to my feet. "I'll walk you back to your room."

Dimitri held onto my hand for a little longer than necessary and looked deeply into my eyes. Then as if the moment had never happened, he dropped my hand and moved towards the door. I followed him and we walked in companionable silence back to mine and Lissa's room. Well, it was companionable until Dimitri decided to ruin it.

"Don't think I didn't notice that you still haven't told me what made you cry." Dimitri lectured. "I'm going to find out."

"No," I said matter-of-factly. "I don't think you are."

"You know, Rose." Dimitri said exasperatedly. "I have always wondered why people bang their heads against brick walls. Then I met you."

I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face. "Don't complain." I instructed him. "Your life would be so much more boring without me in it to brighten it up."

His expression sobered and I felt the smile leave my face. Pretty soon, if he took Tasha's offer, he wouldn't have me around at all. Before I could say anything else, I heard it again. That same high-pitched annoying voice calling, "Dimka! I didn't expect to see you here." He made some lame excuse and turned to walk away. To go to her.

And for at least the third time that day, my heart broke into pieces.

**Wow, this is a lot more angsty that I expected it to be when I started writing it. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's another less angsty chapter.**

I spent the next few days avoiding Dimitri. It was a fairly easy job, because we weren't having our lessons for a while. The job was made even easier by the fact that he spent a lot of his time with Tasha. I tried not to let it bother me, because the last thing I needed was another breakdown.

Instead of thinking about Dimitri, I focused more than ever on Lissa. I stuck close to her, pretending it was practice for when we graduated. If she was bothered by sudden over-attentiveness, she said nothing. But even I couldn't follow her around forever. She had gotten an invitation from Tatiana earlier in the day requesting Lissa's help with royal court stuff. I wanted to go with her, but apparently I didn't merit an invitation.

Since Lissa was busy and I was avoiding Dimitri, I had nothing much to do. For lack of a better option, I found myself spending more and more time with Adrian Ivashkov.

"You stink." I told him now. He smelled of clove cigarettes and alcohol, like always.

"Thanks ever so much, little dhamphir. You smell lovely too." He replied, completely unfazed by my insult.

"So why are you here again?" I asked curiously, eyeing him to see if he was drunk. "Did someone leave your cage open?"

"Very funny, Rose." Adrian's hand went for his pocket where he always kept his cigarettes. With a sudden frown he drew back empty-handed. "Actually, I'm here because I was having an out-of-cigarettes experience."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "And I can fix that how?"

"You could distract me," He suggested with an offhand shrug. "You, me, an empty bedroom. We could have tons of fun."

Somehow I felt myself smiling despite the blatant innuendo. Or perhaps because of it. Leave it to Adrian to make insinuations entertaining. "Sorry, but no."

"You sure?" He offered. "Since I'm here, it's a shame to waste me. I vote for a group bath."

"I'm positive Adrian. I have enough guy trouble in my life at the moment. I don't need to add any more." I sighed, remembering less than a week ago when I cried my eyes out for Dimitri. Add Mason to that mix, and I already had no idea what was going on half of the time. "Don't you have something you need to be doing? Like a royal meeting or something? You do know that some people work for a living, right?"

Adrian shrugged his shoulders and replied insolently. "Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?"

I felt a slow smile make its way over my face, and I realized that I was relaxing for the first time in a long time. Adrian gazed at me for a long moment and cocked his head to the side. He looked a lot more alert than he normally did, but that may have just been because he was out of cigarettes and hadn't gotten a hold of any alcohol.

"Why do you do it?" He asked randomly.

"Do what?"

A lot of the time Adrian would go off on spirit-induced philosophical ramblings when he was intoxicated or even normal sometimes. I usually just attributed them to one of his vices, and I figured this question was one like that.

"Why do you fight?" He asked, still studying me closely. "It would be so much easier to drop out and go live with other dhamphir women and never have to put yourself through this type of torture."

"It's not torture." I told him, realizing that he was speaking of my dhamphir training. "It's worth it."

"For others, maybe." Adrian agreed. "But look at what it's doing to you."

"It's different for everyone but for me its part of who I am, I wouldn't change it even if I could. I'd be nothing if I was just another dhamphir who settled down to raise kids. It's dangerous and lonely. Our loved ones die violently, and most don't live to old age. But it's our way of life, so we accept it and move on," I shrugged. I didn't know exactly how to explain it to this pampered Moroi who had spent his life being served by my kind, but I did my best to try.

"You sound just like my guardian did the first time I asked him that." Adrian told me ruefully. "Like you were explaining it to a kid."

"Well, it's a lesson most dhamphirs that train to be guardians learn in kindergarten. It's drilled into us until it becomes a way of life." I shrugged again, not sure exactly how to put it.

"I hated kindergarten," Adrian joked. "All three times."

I shook my head at his hopeless sense of humor. I would have said something snarky in return, but just then there was a knock on my door. I got to my feet to open it, hoping- praying- that it wasn't Dimitri.

I was in luck. Well, kind of. When I opened the door, I was greeted by the face of Christian Ozera, my best friend's boyfriend. I would much rather it had been Lissa, but seeing Sparky was definitely better than seeing Dimitri.

"Sorry, Christian." I told him before he could say anything. "Lissa left a while ago to meet the queen."

"I'm not looking for Lissa." Christian said. He nodded in greeting to Adrian before turning back to face me. "Believe it or not, I'm actually here to see you."

"You're here to see me?" I asked skeptically.

"Really, Rose. Even someone as slow as you should be able to understand such a simple sentence." The only hint that Christian was joking was the slight smile at the corners of his mouth.

I resisted the childish urge to stick my tongue out at him. "What I meant was, half of the time you don't even like me. Do you have a fever or something?"

"I must be sick." Christian returned. "Why else would I be talking to you?"

"Well, I know it's not because of my charming personality." There were simultaneous snorts from both Christian and Adrian which I politely ignored. "So what do you want?"

"Lissa sent me to see if you wanted to come with us to meet up with Aunt Tasha." A little of his black hair flopped in his blue eyes as he continued, "So do you?"

I thought about it for a minute. I liked Tasha Ozera, when she wasn't busy making moves on Dimitri. I also wanted to spend more time with Lissa, but I wasn't sure I could be around Tasha without hitting her due to recent events. And then there was always the fact that Dimitri seemed to spend most of his time with her. Dimitri. Just thinking his name, I heaved an involuntary sigh.

"Will Dimitri be there?" I asked before I could stop myself. I shot a nervous glance at Adrian, knowing he would sense the meaning behind my question.

"Belikov?" Christian asked curiously. "Probably. You know how he and Aunt Tasha are. Why do you want to know?" Adrian, wisely, chose not to comment.

"Just curious," I said in what I hoped was a dismissive tone. I tried to keep my face impassive as I spoke, but I was already feeling sick at the thought of Dimitri and Tasha together. "Tell Lissa that it sounds like fun, but I'm going to have to pass. I already promised Mason that I would hit the slopes with him today."

"Your loss." He told me. "And now, I have to be going. Lissa's waiting." I wondered if I was the only one that caught the smug look he sent Adrian as he said it.

He left the room, leaving me alone with Adrian once again. "How many times have you told me you're not into older guys, little dhamphir?" He asked knowingly, referring to my question earlier. "Because by now I'm pretty sure that you're lying."

"I told you already," I snapped. "I have a boyfriend."

He raised an eyebrow. "You could have fooled me."

"Well, I do." I said decisively. "And like I told Christian, we have plans today."

Adrian pulled one of his ever-present clove cigarettes from the pocket of his shirt and lit it. Taking a long drag, he eyed me thoughtfully. "Go spend time with your boyfriend, little dhamphir. You need to relax."

"I thought you said you were out of those!" I pointed out.

"I lied." He said evenly. "Go have fun, little dhamphir."

After that very weird experience with Adrian, I went to find a distraction. I had lied to both Christian and Adrian when I told them that I had plans with Mason, and I felt bad about using Mason like that when we weren't even really dating. I just hoped neither of them said anything. My thoughts were circling around the topics of Mason and Dimitri, so it was ironic that the first distraction to appear was Mason himself.

He was standing in the middle of the hallway, talking to two Moroi girls about our age. From the looks of things, he was flirting. From across the hall, I heard one of the two girls burst into laughter and she placed a hand flirtatiously on Mason's arm.

I cleared my throat loudly and was amused to see that Mason jumped guiltily. I had this much power over him and we weren't even dating. I knew in a place full of small, skinny Moroi girls like these, my curvy body was attractive, but it was still nice to see that I had this sort of effect on someone. Even if it wasn't Dimitri.

Mason made some sort of excuse and left the girls to walk over to me. "Whoa," He said as he came up beside me. "Your smile is blinding, Hathaway."

"If you don't play nice, it won't be the only thing that's blinding." I grumbled possessively. "My hand might slip and accidentally hit your eye, Mase."

"Oooh, scary." Mason said in a tone that implied the exact opposite. "Then we'll match."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You should be afraid, Ashford. Very afraid."

"You're just jealous of those girls." A slow grin spread across his face, crinkling the skin around the corners of his eyes. "Admit it, Hathaway. You want me."

"Not as much as you want me." I replied teasingly.

"That's arguable." He said. He smiled that adorable smile I always loved. "But I can think of quite a few better things to do with your mouth than arguing."

"And which of your brains came up with that?" I retorted. Oh how I loved bickering with Mason. Compared to my relationship with Dimitri, talking with Mason was both simple and stress-relieving. If only I felt the way about Mason that I did about Dimitri.

"Do you not want to use your evil powers of seduction?" Mason paused. "Or are you going to punish me for flirting?"

"Hmmm," I pretended to think about it. Pursing my lips thoughtfully, I told him, "Probably a little bit of both."

"Oh, I'm hurt, Rose!" He pressed a hand to his chest. "Didn't you enjoy our kiss?" Looking into his blue eyes, I saw a hint of real worry. Mason looked genuinely worried that I was toying with him. I couldn't really blame him for it, because I was always hot and cold around him.

"I enjoyed it." I reassured him. "I even liked it enough to want a repeat performance."

Mason's eyes lit up, and his smile was almost blinding. "Really?" He asked. He couldn't keep the excited tone from his voice. "Well, then today is your lucky day, because kissing was the first thing on my list of enjoyable things to do with Rose Hathaway's mouth." His words were teasing, but the look he gave me was completely serious. His eyes told me that he genuinely cared about me. It was nice to be cared about.

Mason leaned forward eagerly to press his lips to mine. Like our first kiss, this one was gentle, sweet, and nice. Just like Mason. It was enjoyable, but nothing like my kisses with Dimitri. Where Mason was tentative, Dimitri was passionate. Even as I kissed the former, I couldn't keep my heart from longing for the latter.

As Mason pulled away, his eyes met mine. They were shining with warmth that was only ever directed at me. I had finally relaxed and started to enjoy myself. And just as the day was looking up, my luck ran out. Dimitri appeared.


	3. Chapter 3

He was standing a few feet away from us, talking amiably with Tasha. They hadn't seen us yet, and I wasn't sure if I wanted them too. I felt the same rush I always did whenever Dimitri was anywhere near me. My pulse sped up and my mind started to wander. Seeing Tasha with him always snapped me out of my Dimitri-induced daze.

I didn't even bother to ignore the angry feeling this time. I let it wash over me, and I felt a sick sort of joy in my heart as I did what I did next. Praying that Dimitri would look up, I pulled Mason closer to me and kissed him hotly. Our lips crashed together and at first Mason seemed taken aback. Neither of our two kisses had held passion on a level anywhere close to this one. Where our previous kisses were gentle, this one was hard and demanding. Soon, Mason was kissing me back just as hard. His cute demeanor was slowly disappearing and I found it kind of sexy to watch. Or at least I would have had I not been so fully focused on Dimitri.

The sound of a throat clearing interrupted our make out session. Mason ignored it and kept kissing me. The sound came again, and we reluctantly parted. I hid my triumphant grin as I noticed that the person who had interrupted was none other than Dimitri himself.

"Rose." The love of my life growled.

"Yes?" I asked sweetly.

Mason stood nervously behind me, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He was handsome in his own right, but next to Dimitri, he seemed like a kid. Right now, he looked like a little kid expecting to be punished for something he did wrong.

"Can you excuse us for a moment?" Dimitri said to Mason. He wasn't growling anymore and he seemed to have regained control, but I felt my spirits rise. I had succeeded in making him jealous. He really did care. "Rose and I need to talk." His eyes met mine. The hard and unyielding look I had come to dread was hidden in their depths.

"We don't need to talk about anything, Comrade." I told him insolently. "And if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not talk right now. I'm kind of busy." I motioned from me to Mason and back again. Unable to resist temptation, I added, "Or did you not see that?"

Dimitri gritted his teeth. "I saw it Rose."

Mason looked from me to Dimitri confusedly. He sensed that something was going on beneath the surface of our conversation, but he had no idea what was really happening. "Um, that's fine." Mason said. "Rose and I can always pick up where we started later." He frowned as he realized that this was probably not the best thing to tell a teacher, especially one as intimidating as Dimitri.

Dimitri's intimidating glare was out in full force as he said, "I'm sure you will. Now Rose, if you don't mind?"

Despite our relationship, Dimitri was still my instructor. And he was using that to his advantage right now as he led me down the hallway. I followed him down the hall like a puppy that was about to be punished. Since my room was the closest place we could talk privately, that was where he led me.

While we were walking, my mind was in overdrive. What did Dimitri want to say? Did he still feel the same way about me that I felt about him? Was he going to go with Tasha? My good mood sank as I thought this over. Before I kissed Mason, Dimitri was talking to Tasha. They could have been talking about anything. But what was important enough to Dimitri to interrupt our kiss? The only answer that came to mind was his decision to leave with Tasha or stay with me. My stomach sank and I began to feel sick.

Oblivious to my discomfort, Dimitri took a seat on my bed and patted the area beside him. "Come here, Roza." He said. The hardness that was in his tone earlier had faded, but there was still a hint of it left. I sat down beside him and looked up at him. His six foot seven frame took up most of the space on the bed, leaving me close beside him. I studied him longingly. For all I knew this may be the last time I could look at him like this. A piece of his dark hair fell from its tie, and I had the strong urge to tuck it behind his ear. Before I could move, his hand had lifted to do exactly that.

"What do you want, Dimitri?" I asked sullenly. I was sure that any minute, he was going to tell me that he and Tasha were madly in love and he had accepted the chance to be her guardian and live with her and have little dhamphir babies. I had the sudden urge to throw up.

Dimitri met my eyes and I was thrown off as I realized that there was nothing but love in his gaze. "Oh, Roza." He sighed. "I want to know what is going on with you."

"What do you mean?" I asked. Playing dumb was easier than admitting that I had used Mason to make him jealous. And it was a heck of a lot easier than admitting that I was deeply in love with him and that the very thought of him leaving left a hole in my heart.

"You know exactly what I mean, Rose." He told me. "You keep picking fights with me, you cried yourself to sleep the other day, I see you with a different boy every day, and you've been avoiding me for the past week." He reached across the bed and placed his hand gently on top of mine. "I just want to know what's wrong. Is that too much to ask?"

I looked down at his hand, which was resting comfortingly on top of mine. As much as I wanted to hate Dimitri, I couldn't. I couldn't stay mad at him. As I prepared myself for him to leave, I realized just how many good times we had together.

_"I'm here to help." Dimitri told me. His voice was light and relaxed – rare for him. _

"_You know what would really help?" I asked, not meeting his eyes._

_ "Hmm?"_

_ "If you turned off this crap music and put on something that came out after the Berlin Wall went down."_

_ Dimitri laughed. "Your worst class is history, yet somehow you know everything about Eastern Europe."  
"Hey, I gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade."_

_ Still smiling, he turned the radio dial._

And before I had ever even realized that we were meant to be together:

_"Everyone else thinks I'm totally irresponsible."_

"_With the way you worry more about Lissa than yourself…" he shook his head. "No. You understand your responsibilities better than guardians twice your age. You'll do what you have to to succeed. _

_I thought about that. "I don't know if I can do everything I have to do."_

_He did that cool one-eyebrow thing._

"_I don't want to cut my hair." I explained._

_He looked puzzled. "You don't have to cut your hair. It's not required."_

"_All the other guardian women do." They show off their tattoos."_

_Unexpectedly, he released my hands and leaned forward. Slowly, he reached out and held a lock of my hair, twisting it around one finger thoughtfully. I froze and for a moment, there was nothing going on in the world except him touching my hair. He let my hair go, looking a little surprised – and embarrassed – at what he'd done._

"_Don't cut it," he said gruffly._

_Somehow, I remembered how to talk again. "But no one'll see my tattoos if I don't."_

_He moved toward the doorway, a smile playing over his lips. "Wear it up."_

"Rose?" Dimitri asked again.

"It's not important, Comrade." I told him nonchalantly, pushing all of my pent up feelings back where they belonged; deep down inside. "And more importantly, it's none of your business."

"I've told you before, Rose." Dimitri's mentor side was showing through. "You're my student. Anything concerning you is my business; it's my right to know."

"Just like interrupting my kiss with Mason was your right?" I demanded. If he wanted to give up on what we had, then that was fine. It would definitely hurt, but I could deal. What I couldn't deal with was the way he was so freaking perfect. It was starting to wear on my nerves.

"I only did that because…"

"Because of what?" I demanded. "Because you were jealous? Because you wanted to–"

"Don't antagonize me, Rose." Dimitri cut me off. I could tell by his tone that he was starting to get worked up.

"I'm not antagonizing you!" Maybe it was the darkness I took from Lissa, maybe it was all of my pent up emotions, but whatever it was, I could no longer hold back the flood of words. "Just because you're perfect doesn't mean everyone else has to be!"

"I am _not_ perfect." Dimitri snapped. "And no one said you had to be either."

"Really? Because you could have fooled me. 'Violence is never the answer, Rose.' 'You should learn how to forgive your mother. She cares about you.' 'It's the time of the year for forgiveness.'" I was yelling now, but I couldn't find the will to stop. "Everything you say is some sort of insult. You tell me I'm childish, that I need to grow up. You cancel our lessons to avoid me, and then expect everything to be normal. All you care about anymore is Tasha! You don't care about _me_!"

"So that's what this is about." Dimitri's voice lowered and he regained control. "You think I don't care about you?"

I snorted. "Not nearly as much as you care about Tasha."

"You're doing it again." Dimitri observed his voice under control once again.

"Doing what?" I sighed loudly.

He eyed me calmly before responding. "Picking fights, trying to tell me what I'm feeling, acting childish. Take your pick."

"I am _not _childish." I said vehemently.

"And I _do _care about you."

My heart was racing, and I closed my eyes for a minute. I took a deep breath to calm down, trying not to say something I would regret. I loved Dimitri. No matter what he said, no matter what he did. I loved him. And now, hearing him tell me that he cared about me after I had yelled at him, I felt it more strongly than ever.

"I know." I said softly once I had gotten my breath back. "But you never show it."

"That doesn't mean it's not there," he said gently. The hardness left his eyes and they were kind once again. "I really do care about you, Rose."

Did he care enough to let Tasha go? "If you say so." I said wearily. I was getting tired of arguing with Dimitri. Physical fighting with Dimitri was invigorating. Verbal fighting, however, sucked.

"Rose," Dimitri's voice was deepening with what was beginning to sound like annoyance. "No matter what you think, I care about you. More than you know."

"Oh yeah?" I demanded. "Well then prove it."

Dimitri sighed. He leaned forward and some of his dark hair fell from its confines. "How do you want me to prove that I care about you?"

"It's simple." I told him. "Kiss me." I could tell with one look in his eyes that he wasn't going to do it. He was going to refuse. "What are you afraid of, Comrade?" I teased. "It's just one tiny little kiss."

"Rose." His voice was a warning.

As usual, I ignored it. "Come on, Dimitri. What are you waiting for?" I baited him. I knew him well enough to know that he would eventually get fed up with my taunts and break down. He only had control for so long before his hold on it broke.

"Rose." He growled again. "Haven't you ever heard that you shouldn't tempt a desperate man?"

"But it's fun." I replied, a grin spreading slowly across my face.

I leaned forward tauntingly, my hair swinging over my shoulders as my face neared Dimitri's. He looked as gorgeous as ever. In short, he was the epitome of everything that was hot. His dark eyes were filled with some unknown emotion, and his face was a mix of indecision and want. He still wanted me. He still loved me. His body language told me that, even if his mouth kept silent.

Confident now in my abilities, I leaned forward until our lips touched. I kissed Dimitri. Without a second's thought, he responded. He pulled me closer until I was practically on top of him. His hands tangled into my hair as mine played across his back.

This was bliss. It didn't have the angry intensity of our kiss in the workout room, but it held a whole different level of passion. Dimitri had been resisting for so long that when he finally let go, the passion came out like a flood. Mason's kisses in no way compared to what I experienced every time I kissed Dimitri.

This time, I was the one who broke it. Shifting in his lap until I was comfortable, I leaned into his strong embrace. "I missed this." I said softly.

"I missed you." Dimitri replied. "It's been a long time since the two of us have been in the same room without arguing."

"That's not entirely my fault, Comrade." I whispered into his ear. "But if it makes you happy, I'll take the blame."

"We're both at fault." Dimitri told me. His arms tightened around me and he lifted one hand to twine a piece of my hair around it. Somehow a smile found its way to my lips. Dimitri had always loved my hair. He was the reason I kept it long instead of cutting it short like other female guardians.

"Do you think things will ever go back to the way they were?" I asked. The way things used to be. Dimitri and I used to get along. We used to ignore the romantic tension. But that was before Tasha.

"Do you want them to?" Dimitri's gentle voice was soothing. He rubbed circles on my back with his strong, calloused hands.

I smiled up at him. "Not if it means I get to kiss you again."

"I think that could be arranged." Dimitri smiled back. Rare was the time when I received a full smile from Dimitri. Most of the time all I received were half smiles, and I had to work to earn those.

Dimitri lowered his face to mine for another kiss and I sighed contentedly. We still had our issues. We still had to deal with Tasha, Mason, and the rest of the world. But right now, I was content to let the world fade away as Dimitri held me in his arms.


End file.
